So my miniature tomato plants are just starting to set blossoms, and I’m getting a little nervous. You see, they don’t like stress. When they get stressed, just like a pregnant anorexic, their bodies can’t handle the gestation period. They’ll spontaneously abort their babies.

And this past week has stressed them beyond anything the poor guys could imagine.

1) Cold weather. In the last week, we’ve had three cold nights and two chilly days. I’m talking less than 60 degree highs. This isn’t lethal for tomatoes, but it is stressful… and it can prevent blossoms from turning into fruit.

2) Cat attack. My remedy for the cold nights turned out to be almost as deadly. I pulled my big tomato tub into the living room, but it was so heavy I didn’t want to lift it onto the counter. ‘And besides, the cat hangs out on the balcony all the time now, and she never digs in the pots anymore. She’s desensitized.’ So my thoughts ran, before I tucked my tired butt into bed. So I left it on the living room floor.

*cue suspense music*

The next morning, the white carpet was covered in a layer of fluffy black soil. And on top of that were the shredded leaves and stems of four perfect Tom Thumb tomatoes plants.

In one early-morning slasher attack, the cat butchered HALF of my thriving crop.

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Okay, it turned out to be not so bad. Amazingly, after I replanted and watered, one plant perked back up immediately. Now you can’t even tell that it had an accident, except that one side is bald.

And the other three? They’re still alive too, although they’ll never be as lush as they were.

Here is a sad, shredded plant, next to an unadulterated twin. Breaks your heart, doesn’t it.

I guess posting this online serves as a catharsis for my guilt. I do feel better now, after sharing my story with you, shadowy online audience. I know you can’t mend my broken plants… but you make me feel just a little less negligent.